Ladies and gents, this is our first edition of Students Say the Funniest Things: Korea. Yes, it took us an entire school year to gather enough quotes!

There haven’t been nearly as many gems as often as we used to hear. David spends almost all of his day with fifth graders and teaches very few English language learners. (There are 4 fifth grade classrooms at our school of over 1000 students.) I volunteer in the elementary library one morning a week. Enjoy!

David wears a collared shirt and tie every day (aside from dress down days). On a day he wore his suit jacket:
Fifth grade girl: “Mr. B, today you look like a gentleman.”

When David’s was in need of a haircut (his hair gets really curly as it gets long):
Fifth grade girl: “Mr. Benedict, I saw you from behind on the stairs and you looked like Zeus.”

And after a haircut…
Fifth grade girl: “Mr. B, your haircut makes your beard look full and luscious.”

When I was volunteering in the library:
Second grade boy: “Do you have any books about honey badgers? They’re my favorite animal because I’m just like them.”
Me: “Oh? How so?”
Boy: “They have four legs, they snarl (krrraaarh!), and are grumpy all the time. My sister is like a honeybird. And I’m like a honey badger. They’re symbiotic creatures just like me and my sister.”

Two of David’s students were running down the hall and one clumsily ran into a wall and knocked down some posters.
David: “Boys! Slow down and come back here.”
Boy: “What?! My body’s been changing lately.”

This is a good one I stole from a friend:
During chapel, the elementary counselor was talking about transitions and asked the kids if they had thought about what changes are coming next in their lives. One of the fifth graders said to his friends “Middle School!” And another said, quite happily, “Puberty! I don’t know what that is, but I know it’s next!”

After the Read-A-Thon music video was released, seeing David in the halls was exciting for some of the younger kids.
First grader: “Hi Mr. Singer Man!”
Another student: “I saw you in the video!”
Another student: “Hi Mr. Singer!”

Overheard conversation at VBS:
Second grade boy: “Never put a rubber band on your wrist. It makes your blood vessels just stop.

As a funny section on his end-of-the-year class survey, David asked: “What are your thoughts about Mr. B’s beard?” (Keep in mind you rarely see Korean men with facial hair. The majority of his students were of Korean heritage.) Here are a few of the responses:

• At first sight I thought, “Is he a dirty man?”
• Fluffy, Orange, and Cool.
• It is like a jungle.
• It looks like a birds nest covered in throw up.
• SHAVE IT!!!!!
• It’s long and weird.
• Weird in a good way.
• An awesome amazing gorgeous fluffy puffy vast planet full of unicorns and dogs with turtles on backs and delicious pieces of food and 번데기 also with a thick red forest. There is a cave in the middle of the forest that has a thick smell of coffee as well as delicious pieces of food. You have to be careful though for the giant hand that is always touching the beard.
• I like it. (Kind of. Needs to be more longer.)
• It’s too long.
• IT’S SO COOL AND FLUFFED UP!
• It’s red, and there’s a lot of it.
• It makes you look older than your real age. Sorry! But it’s true.

I’ll leave you with the flash mob dance the elementary teachers performed during field day. (Watch for David in the green shirt!)

» Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 1
» Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 2
» Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 3
» Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 4
» Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 5
» Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 6