Students Say The Funniest Things: Part 6

Our international school has approximately 240 students. I see all of the elementary classes once a week for Library and some for Computers. David has his sixth grade classroom and also sees elementary students for Bible, Character, and PE. Here are a few recent quotes. (This might be the last of these quote posts! We will miss our students here so very much.)


Atrium pep assembly



The preschoolers were playing an online pizza making game during Computers.
Boy: “Is it done stoving yet?”



Before school on Pajama Day, a first grader came up to me to tell me about his outfit:
Boy: “I’m wearing pajamas today! But I usually don’t wear underwear to bed.”
He then realized he was talking to a teacher about underwear, got embarrassed, and quickly walked away.



For the last three years part way through the year, some elementary students suddenly realize David and I are married.
First grade girl: “Mr. B, are you and Mrs. B married?”
David: “Yes, we are!”
Other first grader whispers with wide eyes: “Are you two in love?”
David nods and says: “Shhh! Don’t tell anyone!”



Another school spirit day was Character Day. A sweet little kindergartener we’ll call Kay came dressed up in a doctor outfit.
Me: “What a cool costume, Doctor Kay!”
Kay: “No, it’s Doc McStuffins.”
Me. “Oh, okay.”
Kay whispers: “But it’s just dress up. It’s pretend.”



David was teaching his sixth graders about sexual and asexual reproduction in Science.
Boy 1: “Mr. Benedict, I think my cat is asexual. We only have one cat, and all of sudden, she had five kittens.”
David: “Well, I’m sorry to tell you, but…”
Boy 2 interrupts: “Your cat’s been cheating on you, man.”



We have the cutest lower elementary students from Japan this year. Many of them are just learning English. A boy had some cards in his pocket and they were playing soccer ref before school.
Boy 1: “Red card!”
Boy 2: “Yellow card!”
They continued to point out red and yellow things around them. One girl happened to be wearing her school ID card around her neck. We’ll call her Sally.
Boy 3: “Yellow card!”
Boy 1: “Red card!”
Girl (holds up ID): “Sally card!”



A couple of preschool boys love to draw fight and battle scenes on the back of their activity papers. I told them that was not appropriate for school and that we do not draw guns in the library. The next week during library, the boys were playing and motioning weapons again.
Me: “Boys, no guns.”
Boy: “…in the library?”



Another from the Japanese students… It’s a rule at school that the kids must speak in English. (For academic, as well as safety reasons.) I reminded the prek and kindergarteners several times one week. “You must speak English at school! No Japanese.” One of the little girls really clung to this phrase, perhaps as they were reminding one another. One morning, I listened to a chant that went on for about 5 minutes. (Read this next part in a rhythm…)
Kindergartner: “No, Japanese!”
A group of first graders: “Yes, Japanese!”
Kindergartner: “No, Japanese!”
Kids: “Yes, Japanese!”



It was the week before Mother’s Day, and I was introducing a book about the holiday. I asked the kindergartners if they knew what special holiday was happening on the weekend.
Child 1: “Spring?”
Me: “It is spring now, but that’s not the holiday!”
Child 2: “Summer?”
Me: “No, not yet!”
ESL Child 3: “Teacha happy birthday?”



I was in the preschool classroom during International Day to take photos for the yearbook. I was sitting down with the kids while one of the students was presenting a poster about their home country. A boy sitting next to me on the carpet said:
“Did you know… I’m camera shy.”
First of all, a five-year-old saying that term. Second of all, he was not camera shy at all.



Before school one day, I had a conversation with a kindergartner.
K: On my birthday, I’m going to be five and a half!
Me: Do you mean your half birthday?
K: No, on my birthday.
Me: I think you’ll be six.
K: I’ll be five and a half on my birthday!
Me: Sorry, dear… it doesn’t work that way!



After a Library class, a student came up to me upset and concerned.
Third grader: “Mrs. B, I saw something that said ‘Die Bible.’”
Me: “Where did you see it? Was it written on a poster?”
Third grader: “No, it was on a book!”
Me: “Where was the book? Where was the writing?”
I wondered how and when someone had vandalized a library book.
Third grader: “On the shelves when you first walk into the libray!” (The reference section.)
Then it dawned on me.
Me: “Oh! That is a German Bible! ‘Die’ means ‘the’ in German.”



As we near the end of the school year, we’ve been telling our students we won’t be returning next year. David had the kindergarteners for once last PE class. (The lower elementary students adore David and PE class.)
Kindergartener: “But I want you to be my PE teacher until I go to anniversary!”



» Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 1
» Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 2
» Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 3
» Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 4
» Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 5


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