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    Students Say The Funniest Things: Part 7

    Ladies and gents, this is our first edition of Students Say the Funniest Things: Korea. Yes, it took us an entire school year to gather enough quotes!

     

    Students Say the Funniest Things

     

    There haven’t been nearly as many gems as often as we used to hear. David spends almost all of his day with fifth graders and teaches very few English language learners. (There are 4 fifth grade classrooms at our school of over 1000 students.) I volunteer in the elementary library one morning a week. Enjoy!

     


     

    David wears a collared shirt and tie every day (aside from dress down days). On a day he wore his suit jacket:
    Fifth grade girl: “Mr. B, today you look like a gentleman.”

     


     

    When David’s was in need of a haircut (his hair gets really curly as it gets long):
    Fifth grade girl: “Mr. Benedict, I saw you from behind on the stairs and you looked like Zeus.”

     


     

    And after a haircut…
    Fifth grade girl: “Mr. B, your haircut makes your beard look full and luscious.”

     


     

    When I was volunteering in the library:
    Second grade boy: “Do you have any books about honey badgers? They’re my favorite animal because I’m just like them.”
    Me: “Oh? How so?”
    Boy: “They have four legs, they snarl (krrraaarh!), and are grumpy all the time. My sister is like a honeybird. And I’m like a honey badger. They’re symbiotic creatures just like me and my sister.”

     


     

    Two of David’s students were running down the hall and one clumsily ran into a wall and knocked down some posters.
    David: “Boys! Slow down and come back here.”
    Boy: “What?! My body’s been changing lately.”

     


     

    This is a good one I stole from a friend:
    During chapel, the elementary counselor was talking about transitions and asked the kids if they had thought about what changes are coming next in their lives. One of the fifth graders said to his friends “Middle School!” And another said, quite happily, “Puberty! I don’t know what that is, but I know it’s next!”

     


     

    After the Read-A-Thon music video was released, seeing David in the halls was exciting for some of the younger kids.
    First grader: “Hi Mr. Singer Man!”
    Another student: “I saw you in the video!”
    Another student: “Hi Mr. Singer!”

     


     

    Overheard conversation at VBS:
    Second grade boy: “Never put a rubber band on your wrist. It makes your blood vessels just stop.

     


     

    As a funny section on his end-of-the-year class survey, David asked: “What are your thoughts about Mr. B’s beard?” (Keep in mind you rarely see Korean men with facial hair. The majority of his students were of Korean heritage.) Here are a few of the responses:

    • At first sight I thought, “Is he a dirty man?”
    • Fluffy, Orange, and Cool.
    • It is like a jungle.
    • It looks like a birds nest covered in throw up.
    • SHAVE IT!!!!!
    • It’s long and weird.
    • Weird in a good way.
    • An awesome amazing gorgeous fluffy puffy vast planet full of unicorns and dogs with turtles on backs and delicious pieces of food and 번데기 also with a thick red forest. There is a cave in the middle of the forest that has a thick smell of coffee as well as delicious pieces of food. You have to be careful though for the giant hand that is always touching the beard.
    • I like it. (Kind of. Needs to be more longer.)
    • It’s too long.
    • IT’S SO COOL AND FLUFFED UP!
    • It’s red, and there’s a lot of it.
    • It makes you look older than your real age. Sorry! But it’s true.

     


     

    I’ll leave you with the flash mob dance the elementary teachers performed during field day. (Watch for David in the green shirt!)

     

     


     

    » Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 1
    » Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 2
    » Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 3
    » Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 4
    » Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 5
    » Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 6

     

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    Students Say The Funniest Things: Part 6

    Our international school has approximately 240 students. I see all of the elementary classes once a week for Library and some for Computers. David has his sixth grade classroom and also sees elementary students for Bible, Character, and PE. Here are a few recent quotes. (This might be the last of these quote posts! We will miss our students here so very much.)

     

    Atrium pep assembly

     


     

    The preschoolers were playing an online pizza making game during Computers.
    Boy: “Is it done stoving yet?”

     


     

    Before school on Pajama Day, a first grader came up to me to tell me about his outfit:
    Boy: “I’m wearing pajamas today! But I usually don’t wear underwear to bed.”
    He then realized he was talking to a teacher about underwear, got embarrassed, and quickly walked away.

     


     

    For the last three years part way through the year, some elementary students suddenly realize David and I are married.
    First grade girl: “Mr. B, are you and Mrs. B married?”
    David: “Yes, we are!”
    Other first grader whispers with wide eyes: “Are you two in love?”
    David nods and says: “Shhh! Don’t tell anyone!”

     


     

    Another school spirit day was Character Day. A sweet little kindergartener we’ll call Kay came dressed up in a doctor outfit.
    Me: “What a cool costume, Doctor Kay!”
    Kay: “No, it’s Doc McStuffins.”
    Me. “Oh, okay.”
    Kay whispers: “But it’s just dress up. It’s pretend.”

     


     

    David was teaching his sixth graders about sexual and asexual reproduction in Science.
    Boy 1: “Mr. Benedict, I think my cat is asexual. We only have one cat, and all of sudden, she had five kittens.”
    David: “Well, I’m sorry to tell you, but…”
    Boy 2 interrupts: “Your cat’s been cheating on you, man.”

     


     

    We have the cutest lower elementary students from Japan this year. Many of them are just learning English. A boy had some cards in his pocket and they were playing soccer ref before school.
    Boy 1: “Red card!”
    Boy 2: “Yellow card!”
    They continued to point out red and yellow things around them. One girl happened to be wearing her school ID card around her neck. We’ll call her Sally.
    Boy 3: “Yellow card!”
    Boy 1: “Red card!”
    Girl (holds up ID): “Sally card!”

     


     

    A couple of preschool boys love to draw fight and battle scenes on the back of their activity papers. I told them that was not appropriate for school and that we do not draw guns in the library. The next week during library, the boys were playing and motioning weapons again.
    Me: “Boys, no guns.”
    Boy: “…in the library?”

     


     

    Another from the Japanese students… It’s a rule at school that the kids must speak in English. (For academic, as well as safety reasons.) I reminded the prek and kindergarteners several times one week. “You must speak English at school! No Japanese.” One of the little girls really clung to this phrase, perhaps as they were reminding one another. One morning, I listened to a chant that went on for about 5 minutes. (Read this next part in a rhythm…)
    Kindergartner: “No, Japanese!”
    A group of first graders: “Yes, Japanese!”
    Kindergartner: “No, Japanese!”
    Kids: “Yes, Japanese!”

     


     

    It was the week before Mother’s Day, and I was introducing a book about the holiday. I asked the kindergartners if they knew what special holiday was happening on the weekend.
    Child 1: “Spring?”
    Me: “It is spring now, but that’s not the holiday!”
    Child 2: “Summer?”
    Me: “No, not yet!”
    ESL Child 3: “Teacha happy birthday?”

     


     

    I was in the preschool classroom during International Day to take photos for the yearbook. I was sitting down with the kids while one of the students was presenting a poster about their home country. A boy sitting next to me on the carpet said:
    “Did you know… I’m camera shy.”
    First of all, a five-year-old saying that term. Second of all, he was not camera shy at all.

     


     

    Before school one day, I had a conversation with a kindergartner.
    K: On my birthday, I’m going to be five and a half!
    Me: Do you mean your half birthday?
    K: No, on my birthday.
    Me: I think you’ll be six.
    K: I’ll be five and a half on my birthday!
    Me: Sorry, dear… it doesn’t work that way!

     


     

    After a Library class, a student came up to me upset and concerned.
    Third grader: “Mrs. B, I saw something that said ‘Die Bible.’”
    Me: “Where did you see it? Was it written on a poster?”
    Third grader: “No, it was on a book!”
    Me: “Where was the book? Where was the writing?”
    I wondered how and when someone had vandalized a library book.
    Third grader: “On the shelves when you first walk into the libray!” (The reference section.)
    Then it dawned on me.
    Me: “Oh! That is a German Bible! ‘Die’ means ‘the’ in German.”

     


     

    As we near the end of the school year, we’ve been telling our students we won’t be returning next year. David had the kindergarteners for once last PE class. (The lower elementary students adore David and PE class.)
    Kindergartener: “But I want you to be my PE teacher until I go to anniversary!”

     


     

    » Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 1
    » Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 2
    » Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 3
    » Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 4
    » Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 5

     

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    Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 5

    Our international school has approximately 240 students. I see all of the elementary classes once a week for library. David has his sixth grade classroom and also sees many of the other elementary students for Bible, Character, and PE. Here are a few recent quotes:

     

    Tourist Day

     


     

    A first grader was telling me about Minecraft one morning:
    “And today, I’m going to make a craft table. It’s easy breezy.”

     


     

    An ESL student commenting on David’s marathon training:
    “I sometimes see Mr. Benedict running passionately and quickly down the road.”

     


     

    Elevator conversations with preschoolers:
    Preschooler: “I know you and Mr. B live in the same house together!”
    Me: “We do! Do you know why?”
    Preschooler: “No…”
    Me: “Because we’re married!”
    Preschooler: “But boys don’t get married!”
    Me: “Mr. B did. And so did your dad.”

     


     

    Fourth grader: “Mrs. Benedict, do you have the Gent book series?”
    Me: “No, I don’t think I’ve ever heard of those.”
    Fourth grader: “They all end in gent. Divergent, Insurgent, Allegiant.”

     


     

    David had the preschoolers and kindergartners for a combined PE class. They were playing tug-of-war, and David explained the rules. “I will say one, two, three, and then you pull!” After he said that, a little boy came and stood next to him. He walked the boy back over the rope. Ok, everyone ready? I am going to say “One, two, three, pull!” The boy came back over to David. And then it clicked… The boy’s name was Paul. In his home country’s accent, it sounds very close to “pull.” David walked him to the rope again and said, “Ok, Paul. Pull!”

     


     

    Kindergartners during computers class comparing the levels of the game they were playing:
    Boy: “I’m on the ninth!”
    Girl: “I’m on the twoth!”

     


     

    A first grader brought David a basketball to pump up with air.
    Boy: “This ball no bounce good.”

     


     

    One of the kindergartners who is learning English told me one morning:
    “Today is my baby’s birthday!”  (a younger sibling)

     


     

    This wasn’t from one of our students, but I feel like it could have been. My friend told me about it and she heard it from one of her friends. It’s a sweet story that gives insight to what life is like for TCKs.…

    A young girl came home from her international school. (The family was from the States, but had lived abroad for most of the girl’s life.) The girl was so excited to tell her mother about a new student. It was a boy! They played together at recess! They had lots of fun!

    Where is your new friend from?” Mom asked.
    “I don’t know,” the girl replied.
    “Well, what does he look like? Does he have dark skin? Light skin?” Mom asked.
    “I… I don’t know!” the girl said. “I forgot to check!”

     


     

    » Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 1
    » Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 2
    » Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 3
    » Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 4

     

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    Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 4

    Our international school has approximately 230 preschool through 12th grade students. I see all of the elementary classes once a week for library and some high school students for an elective. David has his sixth grade class and also sees many of the elementary kids for Bible, Character, and PE. Here are some quotes from the past few months.

     

    Mismatched kids

     


     

    In the Korea, I will miss you forever.” — Preschool student at the end of last year. Her family moved back to Korea. 🙁

     


     

    Preschooler: “I want to go to the Japan because the mother is in the Japan.”
    Me: “I think I’ve seen your mom recently. Do you mean your grandmother?”
    Preschooler: “Yes, the mother.”

     


     

    Mrs. B, we like informational books. Do you have any informational books?” — Kindergarteners last year. The boys especially loved science books!

     


     

    Before school, a preschooler was singing along to himself.
    Me: “What are you singing?”
    Preschooler: “The uh oh snail.”
    Me: “Is that from a movie or TV show?”
    Preschooler: “My brother taught it to me. The uh oh snail! The uh oh snail!”

     


     

    First grader: “If I had another piece of paper I’d use it in this hand to fly [down the stairs]… But I think you need feathers for that.”
    Me: “Probably. But it’d still be fun.”
    First grader: “Yeah, SO fun!”

     


     

    I had the kindergartners for library. I asked them what letter they learned about that day, and they told me the letter B. I said, “Hey! Like me! Mrs. Benedict! Mrs. B!”
    K5: “Oh yeah! Miss B!”
    Me: “And Mr. B, too.”
    K5 girl: “Are you married?”
    Me: “Yes, I am.”
    K5 girl: “PPPPPPFFFF! You can’t be married.”
    Me: “Oh no? Why not?”
    K5 girl: “Cause you’re a library girl. Library girls don’t get married.”

     


     

    David had the first and second graders for character class. He was using toothpaste as an illustration. He showed the tube to them and asked the kids what it was.
    Kids: “Toothpaste!”
    First Grader: “I like to EAT that stuff!”
    The student continued to say how they wanted to eat the toothpaste throughout the lesson.

     


     

    Preschooler: “I have to look down to watch my feet so I can practice my walking. When I’m five, I don’t have to practice any more.”

     


     

    There is a preschooler who’s first language is Turkish. She is in the process of learning English this year. She heard the other kids calling David “Mista B” and started referring to him as ağabi (pronounced ahh-bee), which is a respectful term meaning “older brother.” So cute!

     


     

    » Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 1
    » Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 2
    » Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 3

     

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    Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 3

    Our international school has approximately 240 preschool through twelfth grade students. I see all of the elementary classes once a week for library and some high school students for an elective. David has his sixth grade class and also sees many of the elementary and middle school kids for Bible and Character Development. Here are a few quotes from the past few months.

     

    Students playing on the playground

     


     

    Near the beginning of the year during preschool library time, the kids were coloring and we were chatting. A boy in the class told me, “So, we eat a lot of Chinese food at my house. We have egg rolls and noodles. My mom makes noodles a lot. Do you like noodles?” (I think he was trying to gauge how Asian I was.) I told him that yes, I liked noodles. He asked if I had a favorite kind. I told him I liked all noodles. He said, “Ok. I’ll ask my mom if I can bring noodles sometime.” Flash forward to the next week, I walked downstairs to pick up the class. He was the line leader and told me something right away. “Oh, you have news?” I asked. “No,” he said. “I had noodles yesterday.”

     


     

    A seventh grader stopped in to get a book after school and told me: “I don’t know if I like seventh grade. I don’t have time to visit the library.” (Secondary students do not have weekly library times; they must stop in during their free time in between classes.)

     


     

    I had the preschoolers for computers class. After our special, I took them back to their room. They had some pumpkins and were so excited to show me. (Turkey doesn’t have orange pumpkins, but there’s plenty of gray ones.) I told the kids their pumpkins were so cool. I commented how they were lumpy and bumpy. One of the preschoolers responded, “Yeah! Like an old lady!”

     


     

    David had an elementary grade for Bible class. They had some free time at the end of class and were playing with his Tangram set. Some of the pieces were red and transparent. One student held two red ones over his eyes and said, “Everything is blood!” David had him reenact it:

    http://vine.co/v/hvbBQxOUTBU

     


     

    During another Bible class with elementary students, David was talking to the the kids about having a relationship with God. He asked them, “Do you know Mrs. Benedict? She’s my wife. I love her and I kiss her.” The kids of course said, “Ewwwww!” Then he asked, “Do you think I met her one day and we got married the next day?” A little girl responded, “No! You were boyfriend and girlfriend first!”

     


     

    An ESL student reciting a Bible verse: “Therefore there is now no constipation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

     


     

    Me: “We have other Thanksgiving books in the library, too! You can tell which ones are about Thanksgiving by looking for a sticker like this.”

    First Grader: “Are there Star Wars Thanksgiving books?”

     


     

    Before I started reading a book about Thanksgiving to the preschoolers, I asked them a few questions. (Forgive the political incorrectness.)
    Me: “Do you remember what you heard about Thanksgiving at the assembly?”
    Kid: “Yeah! Indians! They helped them plant food.”
    Me: “Very good! The Indians helped the Pilgrims on the first Thanksgiving.”
    Other kid: “You kind of look like an Indian. You’re brown.”

     


     

    One of the popular fundraisers the students have are Krispy Kreme donut sales. They ship them in from Istanbul and sell them with hot drinks before school. One of the little kindergarten boys got a donut and a hot chocolate. I saw him a few minutes later and he had chocolate stains around his mouth. He was carrying a fresh new cup of hot chocolate.
    “Mrs. B, I got two times hot chocolate so I will no be cold!”

     


     

    There are twins in kindergarten and it is difficult to tell them apart. They love to play tricks and be sneaky. One of our favorite phrases from them is: “I joked you!”

     


     

    During third grade computers:
    Korean boy: Where are you from?
    Me: America. But I was born in Korea. I was adopted.
    Rest of class: YOURE ADOPTED?!?!??!?!
    Other boy: I knew it! You kind of look Korean!

     


     

    » Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 1
    » Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 2

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    Students Say The Funniest Things: Part 2

    Our international school has approximately 250 preschool through 12th grade students. I see all of the elementary classes once a week for library and some high school students for an elective. David has his 6th grade classroom and also sees many of the elementary and middle school kids for Bible and Character Development. Here are a few quotes from the past couple of months.

     

    Kids waiting outside

     


     

    Conversations with a 2nd grader:
    “Mrs. Benedict, are you and Mr. Benedict married?”
    “Yes, we are.”
    “Why don’t you have a baby?”
    “Well, we haven’t been married very long and haven’t decided to have a baby yet. Besides, if I had a baby, I wouldn’t be able to teach you! Would you rather me be your teacher or have a baby?”
    “Have a baby!!! Pleeeeeease?!”

     


     

    Quotes from a Chinese kindergartner during David’s Bible class:

    I sat down funny, so she looked up, smiled and said, “Today I look like Mr. B is very funny. Today look like a funny and happy day for Mr. B.”

    When I introduced the lesson, Jesus Calming the Storm, she said, “Why we talka about Jesus all day long? Because-ah my mom, at home-ah, talk about Jesus too.”

    And on a different day:
    “Mr. B, your face look like so funny today!”

     


     

    I always read a book to the kids during their library time. The kintergardeners love to ask, “Why?” or “How come?” as I am reading. I always tell them, “Keep listening! We’ll find out!” The kindergartener mentioned above caught onto this.

    Mrs. B always say we’ll find out. We’ll find out! We’ll find out!”

    For the rest of the book, every time I finished a page, she would say, “Why? …We’ll find out!” She got such a kick out of it and laughed and laughed.

     


     

    3rd grader during computers talking to a friend:
    “Windows 95 is old. Everyone always talks about how great it is, but it is so old!”

     


     

    I went to pick up the 2nd graders for library. While we were waiting for everyone to line up, one girl said, “Mrs. Benedict, I like your shoes!”

    I said, “Thank you!” I was wearing my pointed-toe metallic flats.

    They look like elf shoes.”

    You think so? I guess they kind of are my elf shoes!”

     


     

    D: My Italian student walked into my classroom one morning and handed me his iPad and headphones. He said, “Mr. Benedict, you have to listen… Is very good song!” I placed the headphones on my ears and what I heard was mind baffling. The voices of the Backstreet Boys sang, “I want it that way.”

     


     

    D: One morning, an ESL (English as a second language) preschool student said, “Poopy.”
    I said, “That is not a very nice thing to say. You need to watch your mouth. That’s not appropriate.”
    As tears welled up in his eyes, I instantly knew I had hit a language barrier.
    Through sobs and deep breaths he blubbered, “I can’t even see my mouth!”
    (That’s the last time I tell an ESL student they need to watch their mouth!)

     


     

    I had the first graders for library one day. I showed them the cover of the book The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein and told them the title. Next, I turned the book around to show them the picture of the author and told them, “This is who wrote the book.”

    One of our new students who does not know a lot of English shouted, “This boy is no beautiful!”

    Take a look:

     

    Shel Silverstein's The Giving Tree cover

     


     

    » Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 1

     

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    Students Say The Funniest Things

    Our international school has approximately 250 preschool through 12th grade students. I see all of the elementary classes once a week for library. David has his 6th grade classroom and also sees many of the elementary and middle school kids for Bible and Character Development. Here are a few recent quotes.

     

    Flags hanging in our school

    Our school displays flags from all of the home countries of our students.

     


     

    Mrs. B! Go fly, bee! Bee!” – K4 kids to me
    It is hard for them to say Benedict, so I told them they could call me Mrs. B. I drew a picture of a bee on the chalkboard. Not all of the K4 kids are native English speakers, but they all laughed when they made the connection.

     


     

    Mrs. Benedict, do you have a rubber?” – High school student
    “A what?!” – Me
    “An eraser?”  – High school student
    “Oh, yes.”  – Me

    Some European and US terms have different meanings.

     


     

    Mrs. Benedict, do you have a child?” – 2nd grader
    “No, I do not.” – Me
    “Oh. Are you going to have one?” – 2nd grader

     


     

    At home, we speak-a the Chinese because we from-a the Chinese.” — Kindergartner to David

    Teacha no like talk, quiet!” – Same kindergartner to classmates when told to be quiet.

     


     

    I teach Graphic Design to high schoolers. I recently gave a quiz over raster graphics that included file extensions. I gave the abbreviation and students had to tell what the letters represented. For TIFF (tagged image file format), one student put “Extra Terrestrial’s Intergalatic File Format.” A for effort!

     


     

    There is one preschool student who is learning English. She must have recently learned colors and always says, “Pink! Pink! I like pink!” when we color. (It sounds more like “peeeeeeeeeeeeeeenk”!) In library, I read Are You My Mother by P.D. Eastman. When we finished the book, I asked them questions about what their mothers looked like.

    What color is your mother’s hair?” – Me
    “Black.” – Student 1
    “What color is your mother’s hair?” – Me
    “Black.” – Student 2
    “What color is your mother’s hair?” – Me
    “Black.” – Student 3  (Since I pointed to my hair when I asked hair color, maybe they misunderstood the question…)
    “What color is your mother’s hair?” – Me
    PIIIIIIINK!” – Student 4

     


     

    David was handing a K4 student his lost jacket one morning when a 2nd grade student walked up and said, “Mr. B., I think that looks like it’s mine.”
    To which David replied, “Andrea, I don’t think so… I think you are wearing yours.”
    He looked down at himself so his chin was in his chest, grinned, and said, “Oh…”

     


     

    Mrs. Benedict, how many pairs of earrings do you have?” – 3rd grader
    “Oh, probably less than 10 pairs.” – Me
    “I should get you some more earrings for your birthday.” – 3rd grader

     


     

    The drops from your eyes are what hurts my heart the most.” – One of David’s Spanish speaking students translating a song into English.

     


     

    Er-rur-ruh-tated.” – An ESL student trying to say the two r’s in irritated.


     

    We have the coolest students ever!

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