Our international school has approximately 250 preschool through 12th grade students. I see all of the elementary classes once a week for library and some high school students for an elective. David has his 6th grade classroom and also sees many of the elementary and middle school kids for Bible and Character Development. Here are a few quotes from the past couple of months.

Conversations with a 2nd grader:
“Mrs. Benedict, are you and Mr. Benedict married?”
“Yes, we are.”
“Why don’t you have a baby?”
“Well, we haven’t been married very long and haven’t decided to have a baby yet. Besides, if I had a baby, I wouldn’t be able to teach you! Would you rather me be your teacher or have a baby?”
“Have a baby!!! Pleeeeeease?!”

Quotes from a Chinese kindergartner during David’s Bible class:

I sat down funny, so she looked up, smiled and said, “Today I look like Mr. B is very funny. Today look like a funny and happy day for Mr. B.”

When I introduced the lesson, Jesus Calming the Storm, she said, “Why we talka about Jesus all day long? Because-ah my mom, at home-ah, talk about Jesus too.”

And on a different day:
“Mr. B, your face look like so funny today!”

I always read a book to the kids during their library time. The kintergardeners love to ask, “Why?” or “How come?” as I am reading. I always tell them, “Keep listening! We’ll find out!” The kindergartener mentioned above caught onto this.

“Mrs. B always say we’ll find out. We’ll find out! We’ll find out!”

For the rest of the book, every time I finished a page, she would say, “Why? …We’ll find out!” She got such a kick out of it and laughed and laughed.

3rd grader during computers talking to a friend:
“Windows 95 is old. Everyone always talks about how great it is, but it is so old!”

I went to pick up the 2nd graders for library. While we were waiting for everyone to line up, one girl said, “Mrs. Benedict, I like your shoes!”

I said, “Thank you!” I was wearing my pointed-toe metallic flats.

“They look like elf shoes.”

“You think so? I guess they kind of are my elf shoes!”

D: My Italian student walked into my classroom one morning and handed me his iPad and headphones. He said, “Mr. Benedict, you have to listen… Is very good song!” I placed the headphones on my ears and what I heard was mind baffling. The voices of the Backstreet Boys sang, “I want it that way.”

D: One morning, an ESL (English as a second language) preschool student said, “Poopy.”
I said, “That is not a very nice thing to say. You need to watch your mouth. That’s not appropriate.”
As tears welled up in his eyes, I instantly knew I had hit a language barrier.
Through sobs and deep breaths he blubbered, “I can’t even see my mouth!”
(That’s the last time I tell an ESL student they need to watch their mouth!)

I had the first graders for library one day. I showed them the cover of the book The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein and told them the title. Next, I turned the book around to show them the picture of the author and told them, “This is who wrote the book.”

One of our new students who does not know a lot of English shouted, “This boy is no beautiful!”

Take a look:

» Read Students Say the Funniest Things: Part 1